The Chiang Mai Perspective 03.02
22 June 2003
Between the Clouds
For Monthip

Do you ever notice that when you think of the past you tend to reminisce about fond memories, but overlook any unpleasantness that the past held? Do you ever notice that when you reminisce about the past, it seems that in some ways things were better then than they are now? They say that when your book of memories is thicker than your list of plans for the future you have joined the league of the aged - and wise. [Actually they don't say that, but maybe they will someday.] And wisdom comes from a collection of experiences, both pleasant and unpleasant, leaving in their wake a fondness for what was in the past. What we tend to reminisce about may be unrealistic, but it is true. The good memories tell us something about Truth, undistorted by the realities of life. Maybe one of the goals of living is to fill life with as many good memories as possible.

It's monsoon season in Thailand. Sometimes the days are so dark and the skies so thick with clouds that we forget that there is still a sun. Moreover, we allow our moods to be swayed by atmospheric and meteorological changes. But the truth is that the sun is still up there; we just can't see it. And the truth is that there is always reason to be happy, just that sometimes the clouds get in the way.

Last year I introduced you to my travelling companion,View, whose perception of life is colored by her background and experience. Truth for View is that there are mountains in the sea because that is what she saw in her dream. The reality was that we saw some rocks in the ocean, but not the mountains that View was looking for. Over time, I have come to realize that reality is not always consistent with the Truth. I believe that View's mountains are out there somewhere just as sure as there is always a sun above us; but we don't see these things because of clouds.

Before I go further, I have to say a couple things: A few months ago, View and I travelled to the United States. While most things were very expensive for us, we got some extraordinary breaks by using Hotwire. Take a vacation and contact Hotwi re, because they really do save you money on flights and good hotels - and they really will make your travels more pleasant.

Another commercial announcement I have for you is that you should be renting DVD's from WALMART while they have a special deal going on via the internet.

I mention these things as part of a theme. There is something to say for taking advantage of opportunities to enjoy life.

Something in Thailand that used to seem strange to me was seeing people spend all their money almost as soon as they got it. As soon as View got some money, she would go on a buying spree, getting things that didn't seem necessary to me. I guess it must've been equally strange to her to see westerners being frugal - saving money for reasons that only we can fathom.

One of the driving attitudes in Thailand is the people's commitment to "sanook"; enjoyment. Perhaps westerners put more emphasis on security and concerns for the future. I think that Thais live more for the moment. A year ago, I had the opinion that View had much to learn about saving and preparing for the future. A year later, I find that I am the one who has learned more - about preparing for the present.

"When you have thirty dollars, you should use it before you don't have it anymore."

A little over 200 years ago, some American leaders wrote about their concept of freedom and human rights. They specifically mentioned that people have a right to "pursue happiness." And it seems that most amendments to the laws of the land are in some way centered around every individual's right to pursue happiness. In Thailand, as in most of Asia, concepts of equality and individual rights are still new. Power is sponged up by the very wealthy, and the truth about equality of the poor is clouded by the realities of the wealthy holding onto their power, and looking out for themselves well before they bother looking out for the welfare of the people. (It's similar to present day American politics, but more deeply rooted in the culture.] Nevertheless, the people know about "pursuit of happiness." It's not a right; it's an obligation, a tradition.

Being happy at work or in school is not as well practiced as being happy in spite of work or school. Typically, in the workplace, there is a great distance between the boss and the employees. Outside the workplace, the distance is not so pronounced, but in the workplace, the boss is the authority, and the workers seldom have input. So it is not unusual for workers to work ten hours a day, six days a week, and be happy to bring home a monthly salary of $100.00. And when there is nothing significant to accomplish at the workplace, the boss will have the workers do meaningless tasks just to keep them busy, and more importantly, to exert authority. I imagine that the resulting effect on the worker is a sense that this is all there is - so any opportunity to improve that feeling, even for a moment, is an opportunity not to be wasted.

Being at school sometimes resembles being at work. Just now at the university, first year students are undergoing "Freshy Week," which lasts about a month. It's a time when the upperclassmen get to exert authority over the freshman, and order them about and call them names and make them feel like lesser beings. Last year when View underwent the initiation rites at a particularly notorious institute, she came home crying day after day. In addition to senior classmen making life miserable for the Freshman, some teachers and administrators had no sympathy for students who had difficulties. They would dismiss questions by calling the student "stupid," and they generally added to the stress that the students endure.

So View would come home upset because of the way people at her school spoke to her - or at her - and her friends. I would tell her that she doesn't need to believe those people when they say negative things to her. She shouldn't believe them when they say things that are not true. Well, after a while View decided that the burdens imposed by that particular institute conflicted with her pursuit of happiness, and she quit attending. Was it a triumph of Reality over Truth?

This may look like just another commercial announcement, but it's actually part of this whole theme. It is well known by psychologists and motivators that we are what we believe about ourselves. If we have not succeeded in ways that we want to succeed, or if we have not reached our potential, it is because we are controlled by limiting beliefs. There are countless accounts of how devastating our limiting beliefs can be - they can cause repeated failure, sickness, and worse. Recently, I found an outfit that has a way of knocking those limiting beliefs right out of your system and putting in empowering beliefs. The amazing thing is that their method succeeds where all the self-help manuals and subliminal cassettes have failed. Nobody is too old or too young to gain something from this outfit. I can guarantee that if you just spend some time at the website and get on their mailing list for their free ezine, you will notice positive changes in yourself almost immediately. The name of the outfit is Think Right Now (Click now before you stop thinking :-)

Perhaps travelling around and living in different countries makes one sensitive to the plight of individuals. What I mean is that we all hear about global events and have some idea about what is happening. But it seems that most people see the news and shrug off its implications. I think travellers may be a little more concerned with what happens to people in different countries, having stepped foot into some of them.

When Aung San Suu Kyi was detained in Myanmar a couple weeks ago, it was a very short news bulletin on television. I don't know if it was even covered in the U.S. It did not seem to get much reaction from anyone. My thoughts were with and about Aung San Suu Kyi herself. I wondered (and still) wonder what must be going through her mind. After more than a decade of fighting for a democratic form of rule, for freedom to pursue happiness for all the people of Myanmar, what must she be thinking and feeling when her efforts are brought to a sudden stop? Is it another unfortunate triumph of Reality over Truth?

When U.S. forces were at war in Iraq, in the U.S. there was so much praise for the political leaders who created the war. This was incomprehensible to the rest of the world. But more incomprehensible were the justifications that followed: "It wasn't a bad event because only a hundred Americans died, and relatively few unarmed men, women, and children died." Was this cause for celebration? I don't think it was for any of the families or friends of those who got killed. To me, any one of those individuals could have been a friend who matters - not just a fraction of statistic. Sometimes the Truth is not what we would prefer to hear. Yet to cast a shadow over the Truth, or to divert away from the Truth with irrelevant facts is not helpful to anyone.

If View's childhood dreams of mountains in the sea were true, I'm almost certain that her current dreams are not true. Invariably the bad dreams predict something that is going to happen, and almost invariably that thing does not happen. So it's a struggle.. When View tells me about a frightening dream she has had, it's all I can do to convince her that her dreams have lied to her.

          "How could my dreams lie?"
          "Have they ever been truthful?"
          "Yes. One time, in my dream, there was a ghost playing cards and gambling. Later, I was walking near the park, and I found ten baht (25 cents)".
          "What's the connection?"
          "In the dream I saw the ghost lose ten baht."
          "Wait a minute. Why does a ghost even need money?"
          "I don't know. But if the ghost DIDN'T lose ten baht, how could I find it?

          Case Closed.. Sometimes reality supports the Truth, and sometimes neither Truth nor Reality are relevant.

In addition, world events and heightened concerns for security have given impetus to police exerting more authority than before. The war in Iraq has increased fears of terrorism, not decreased them.

Yet, even while Thai politicians seem to be absorbing more power, Thailand is not the worst case by any means. We have neighboring countries where people's freedoms are becoming more limited either by government-imposed religious codes, or by sanctions of a corrupt government. And still Thailand's neighbors are not even the worst cases.

Watching America from the outside - which gives us a different perspective than those who are living there - we see freedoms eroding as government officials assume greater authority and as the gap between the wealthy and the poor widens and widens. It is scary to see this, because developing countries take cues from America and look to America to set an example.

So View and I took the opportunity of a weekend to go away. We went to a beach on the west coast of Thailand in a town called Krabi. It was rainy, but also there were periods of blue skies and sunshine. During those periods we walked on the beach and observed a peaceful Andaman Sea. We had no national or international news to contend with. Neither did we have any pressing deadlines in either my work or View's studies. We just had a couple days to relax - a chance to distance ourselves from the world's realities. And in those couple days we were able to live between the clouds.

So what is the conclusion from all of this? I don't know for sure, but this is what I've come up with so far: There is merit to the Thai's philosophy of "sanook," enjoying life whenever you can. Realities of the world around us, and also the realities of living, tend to reduce the frequency and quality of our pursuits of happiness. But those realities don't really reflect Truth. They are like clouds that hide the fact that the sun still shines. When we listen to teachers or authorities or even friends who only dwell on the negative - and want us to believe the negative about ourselves and about the world - well those people really aren't representing Truth, they are really just getting in the way. When we watch today's world leaders, we are watching clouds that hide Truth from us, literally and figuratively. So maybe we shouldn't pay much attention to them; except to prevent them from doing too much more harm to our world. Happiness, Truth, and good memories come from getting past the pains and realities of life and seeing between the clouds

This is not to say that Truth is completely painless and comes without a price. While I have a big store of memories, I don't think I've joined the league of the aged or aging. However I may have reached the edge of my youth. View, on the other hand, is barely past the starting gate of her journey through life. She has had to make decisions on how that journey will proceed.

We came to the conclusion that staying in Hat Yai - where we have lived for the last year - is not the right place for her to accomplish her dreams. So last week, View moved to Bangkok to attend a different university. As beginnings go, this is a particularly difficult one for her; it is her first time ever being on her own, alone. I believe that great things will happen with View, once she sees past the beginning pains. As for me ...well I guess I know how it must feel to be an amputee .... adjustments to changes is what living in reality is about, I suppose. But we make the adjustments because....because we don't want to live under clouds. That is the perspective from Hat Yai.

"When are we going to stop crying?"

"When life stops hurting."

Have a sunny summer, and grab the best that you can get from vacations, whenever you can get them.

Later,

Jerry

27 November 2002.....Tribute to JFK
31 March 2003.....It Takes a Fool 2 (Anniversary Issue)
22 June 2003.....Between the Clouds